growing pains.

although my graduate education was painful and almost lethal, i had some inkling that it was postponing so many real world things that would bite me right in the ass after my years of schooling dwindled. i have only tasted a few thus far in my ridin' solo adventures in tennessee. car/health/renter's insurance? check. buying washer/dryer? check. paycheck? not yet...but there will definitely be a post when that comes in a couple of weeks.

other thangz too. my first time living alone began last week and i'm having a love/hate relationship with it. if any of yall reading this (hey mom & anni), you know i am painfully extroverted. i receive energy, rejuvenation from others being near me. not in a stage-5-clinger kind of way, i just prefer having others around. even if we aren't talking, i just feel more at ease. i find myself playing music or leaving the TV on just because the eerie silence reminds me i'm alone. i know that God is totally teaching me to embrace this side of me, but UGH i don't like it. but i'm willing to go there. i like that i can clean or leave out my dishes whenever i please, since i am the only person making rules and keeping myself accountable.

now, yes. i toats had a pity party after the family and i hugged several consecutive times and shed a few tears. a sink or swim moment as anni and i discussed this weekend when she came to visit. it was so affirming to hear from her (one of the strongest women i know mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually) that everyone has those moments. you gotta feel, gotta be vulnerable, and recognize welp, this kinda sucks. but then your ass has got to get the hell up and change that 'tude to face the real world. we all have an inner fiery phoenix waiting inside. i mean hell, what are your other options?

so what does any fiery phoenix do next? i went to the DMV of course. to be surrounded by a lobby full of people for 3 years hours. i came prepared with an apple, Real Simple magazine, & grocery lists. i hate admitting this to the world wide web, but it definitely felt good to be a) out of the townhouse b) near others even if they were miserable around me. afterwards, i got some new tags at the county clerk's office (weird...it wasn't at the DMV), and went grocery shopping. made a sweet new recipe and marveled in the fact that being grown-up and self sufficient can feel so satisfying.

thursday anni came and it was like a wave of soothing, calm energy in that townhouse. sometimes don't you need the feeling of familiarity? like the way it feels when you put on those old blue jeans from last fall that fit so well. and she definitely brought that feeling of familiarity and comfort i needed. my partner in crime; we took the city by storm.

what we did in knoxville:
-hiked in Great Smoky Mountains
-viewed skyline of the city in the Sunsphere
-Smokies semi pro baseball game
-shop around Market Square downtown
-toasts to our lives and where the good Lord has brought us thus far. although different paths, we experienced profound joy of past memories together.
-getting lost in TN only to find an incredible farm for photos
-Chattanooga, TN in 100 degree weather

alas, we conquered Knoxville but most important, we did it together. and she only had to drive 6.5 hours to get here. God bless your soul Beverly Anne.



i had a perm, and your hair touched your ass.
UVA football game, Fall 2006ish



one of us lives in TN and one of us lives in VA.
one is starting her first full time job, one has been teaching for 2 years.
Knoxville 2011